My Favorite (Personal) Music Releases

Pale Cremation - Communion (Soviet Tapes 1984)

David Bowie once said "Musicians tend to want to talk about the process rather than what it means". I disagree a little bit. While my personal music making process is something I can go through on technical level; in regards to how I make it, what gear I use etc. But to me, that's just a process of going from point A to point B in regards to putting your art out into the "sphere of consciousness" if you will, i.e. 'The Public".

Music for me is more an emotional and self expressing release than anything else. It's an art project to me. There is a massive spiritual and emotional backbone to what I do. And to me that is vitally important. Anyways, onto the music.

Communion like most records I do, is just a learning process. Every single thing I release is just me learning more and me learning how to it better than the last time. It was originally slated to be a double "concept" album (which I think is a misnomer because everything comes from a concept, but I digress) but a lot of the songs just felt lazy and not put together well. So Communion was kind of the "best of" of those songs. This also the most critically reviewed album I've ever put out. With reviews on Invisible Oranges, Consequence Of Sound and Yahoo Music.

I play a lot of the S.T.A.L.K.E.R Shadow of Chornobyl video game series. Stalker 2 came out November of 2024. Less than two months before I finalized the record and put it out. I got pretty inspired by it and had a last minute decision to make it a lost record made in 1980s Soviet Union. Eastern Bloc architecture and music has influenced me a lot. But I'm not a supporter of the Russian government or Putin, like at all. So I hope that clears that up.

It was also loosely based on Whitley Strieber's 1985 book Communion. Whitley claims to an Alien Abductee (or Experiencer, which I think is a bit more appropriate) and it was one of the most terrifying things I've ever read. I've had a lot of unexplained phenomenon happen in my life, particularly when I was younger. It hit home in a way. The last two songs reflected that influence. 

My favorite track on here is either the title track or Indistinguishable To Human Eyes. I'm going to go with the latter, it's based on the movie "The Thing" which is one of my all time favorites. I'm constantly inspired by sci-fi, especially 80s sci-fi. Even John Carpenters Music is a massive influence. It's a 12 minute track that went through multiple iterations, and I settled on the most solid one. I love doing long tracks, not enough bands do that anymore. Who cares about the flannel sweats who want to hear 3 minute songs. 

But I am my own worst critic and I don't particularly like the sound of the record much. Its too saturated and lacks clarity. And that's part of my learning process. I'm always looking to mix and master better. I think every release I've put out since Communion has been a bit better. 

Nineteenth - Music For Television Programs

Inspired by Brian Eno's "Music For Airports" I got this crazy idea about doing songs for Television programs from the past that don't exist. Every track title is a TV program that doesn't exist, but tells the tale of Cold War fear and confusion that has led to the societal challenges and decay we have to deal with today.

 Generations given the keys to the American dream only to have greed and selfishness squander anything that could have beneficial to humanity in the future. The blind faith in control systems, the lack of empathy; leave the Children with a capitalist wasteland built to break down and enslave humanity. An American dream turned into an American nightmare. 

It's my view of growing up in America. In a post 911 America, A Covid America and what ever the fuck is happening in the country right now. Watching the adults around me brutalized by money problems. Brutalized by this system. Being told "That's just the way it is" when the way it is makes absolutely no sense to me. Now I've been brutalized by it. But it's not going to break me. I can't pretend that Politics. Money, Government, Religion etc. is a good thing anymore. I can't identify with any of it. It's a system of unnecessary pain and suffering. 

Writing this right now makes me realize how dark some of the tracks are. Not sound wise necessarily, but thematically. It doesn't paint a good picture of reality and the way I see society. But it's a necessary lens for an artist to have. The realization that what we have been fed all our lives is a complete and utter lie. That if you work hard you will be successful and have whatever you want. We now know this isn't reality.

I truly, truly believe there are enough resources on this planet for everyone to live a good, natural life. To live free, with love and without fear. 

To the ones who say it's impossible:

Don't lose hope.

Matt Lasserre - Trigrammaton

Oh yeah baby. Now we're talking. Sometimes when you create music you just stumble on the perfect arrangement and concept. I set out to make a more New Wave thing like The Police but it came out a bit "weirder" than  intended. Nothing was pre conceived with this record and it really opened me up to the idea of consciousness pulling musical and artistic ideas from somewhere, but from where? Because when I listen back to something like this without my internal criticism or ego and I go how did I come up with that? I can't remember how the arrangements came together, looking back it just felt seamless. 

While I do enjoy my Marijuana products (I don't drink alcohol anymore) I do all my music completely sober. I might have some coffee or tea while I create but that's it. It seems to me that when you lock into that mode of creation, a kind of channeling happens where you are pulling from a higher version of yourself. The mode of creating art eliminates our material and blocked way of thinking and allows something else to come through. The what or why is a big part of my musical journey is about nowadays. 

Think about how many artists got labeled 'devil worshippers' or 'satanists' after they tried to explain that the art comes from somewhere else. I get that some artists are not good people and have done bad things to others. But the spiritual pull of the art in relation to the artist has been demonized religion and the powers that be for thousands of years. Unless its art that fits the mold of the societal control mechanism. Looking at you, country music.

It pains me to think of all the people misunderstood and demonized throughout our history simply because they were in touch with their higher selves, their higher purpose. It pains me a lot to think it's still happening today. 

I think faith is important. Spirituality is important. I whole heartedly believe that we are spiritual beings in a physical body. But I have seen religion presented in such a destructive way on our planet. People using it as excuse to do awful things to others, to be hateful, to be prejudice and to not care about the amazing Earth we live on. The ignorance bewilders me. I refuse to let my life be governed by books written by old guys a thousand years ago. Religion is the control mechanism for the Fear of Death. Spirituality ascends all mechanisms of control. 

Fly those Horns and Middle fingers high my friends.

Matt Lasserre - Jungian House Dream

Full disclosure here. This my favorite musical thing I have done in my entire life. Its focused, its extremely personal and I feel like I really nailed it on the sound of the album. This is no slight to other bands I've been in that have put out albums. But there's something special about putting out a record that has all your DNA on it. To put the blinders on and just create something with very, very little outside influence is important to me. 

In a review of the album, my buddy Robby Stevens said "Listeners can experience a release that does not sound like a lot of what you are hearing from the rock/metal world today". And I agree with him. There's a variety of musical influences, but its hard to find something current to compare this to. And I really like that. I've always been the guy in the band to say: let's do things that no one is doing right now. And that usually caused a lean into the more psychedelic sounding stuff. On Jungian House Dream things really started leaning into the more post-punk/new wave direction. I really flexed that influence here. The Police, Sisters Of Mercy, Siousxsie and The Banshees are still very heavy in my listening rotation. Not mention prog rock like Rush, Pink Floyd, King Crimson and Yes. 

This was the kind of the first time I actually wrote more personal type songs. It's always been Sci-fi, horror movies and occult that I use thematically. This was the first time I looked inward and pulled from things I experience (there is a couple of the  more sci-fi songs on there, I couldn't help it) and what do you know, it actually created something unique. But what in the fuck is a Jungian House Dream?

The personal aspect of this record is my dreams. Now, some people might have basic dreams where they're at work or something that mirrors their real life when something stressful happens.

I'm a bit different, or similar to others depending what you read up on. And I'm actually kind of reluctant to share what I experience.

I can go lucid in dreams and I go to entire dream world that feels like an alternate reality nearly every night. Call it REM sleep or what you will, but I wake up exhausted like I've actually lived somewhere else while I sleep. Some people on the Internet have called this place "Mall World". Which is a misnomer but a few thousand people around the world actually share many experiences and locations within this dream realm. It's weird because typing this now I almost feel as though I'm not supposed to be sharing it. Like I've tapped into a different reality that only a few experience. 

I have had many paranormal and super natural experiences over the years that have really shown me things at face value are really not what they seem. I've only shared these experiences with a few people not because it's embarrassing to me, but not everyone is ready to hear it. I have a feeling it just creeps people out. But one thing I will say, very quickly, I can interface with the afterlife. And no I don't feel 'special' or 'chosen' and yes it has been a massive challenge for me to deal with throughout my life. I'll leave it at that.

Now for Carl Jung part. I am very into Jung and his insights into psychology and the human mind. It started once I began to look up why I would have recurring dreams in a big mansion, with ghosts, with multiple floors and rooms. And what I found out was that I was a having a Jungian House Dream. The Mansion or house, is an archetypal symbol for the human psyche. It was an incredibly powerful revelation. And because my awareness in dreams and dream recall is well above average the person, I'm able to learn and communicate with my subconscious. It's still a big work in progress and still a lot of things don't make sense, but I want to embrace my experiences and my spirituality that has been suppressed for longer than I wanted it to be. Instead of trying to block my experiences because it was confusing, I'm choosing to understand who I am and what I go through. It's actually terrifying to dive in this deep, to really get down to the core of who I am but I have to do this. My body is going to fail me sooner than I'd like, there's no avoiding it anymore.

I dedicated this album to my friend Daniel Hobbs, who passed away last year. I miss you. I know adult life took us our separate ways but I know wherever you are now you're not hurting anymore. This album is for you Brother.

Peace.